Stephen Hough Will Fine You Two Grand

Born-again pianist Stephen Hough hates your cell phone, and hates you, too.

I don't mind the odd rasp of a cough, or rustle of a programme; but a jingle from the depths of someone's pocket or pocket-book is about as annoying as anything can be. Perhaps an instant fine of $2,000 would be the incentive needed for people simply to check and make sure the wretched things are switched off

via Tim Smith

Comments

[Kevin Edmund Youkilis 4 MVP]

Because tickets aren't expensive enough!

[Willy]

Well having had several performances in the past while spoiled by thoughtless jangling or even worse on one occasion the William Tell Overture I tend to agree with him. And I want a fine for people who feel that the "no photographs during a performance" rule doesn't apply to them and would indignantly claim that after all it was only one little photo.

[Mike]

With coughs, we're talking about personal health, so they may have to be tolerated. Program rustling? No way!

As for cell phones, every person entering a venue should either check his cell phone at the door or sign an insurance policy in the lobby sufficient to refund the ticket prices of the entire audience, who don't deserve to have a concert experience ruined by one inconsiderate jerk.

[Lisa]

So true. The most horrific experience I have witnessed was in a recital given by Dame Emma Kirkby in _a church_, where somebody's mobile rang _twice_. It was very big of her to not to just walk out when the thing went off for the second time.

[y2k]

I didn't realize Stephen Hough writes a blog on the Telegraph! Priceless!

[Patsy]

Even worse: I've been at two recent performances where bored 20-somethings were texting each other throughout the performance, while they had simply put their phones on the silent mode. It's infuriating. They think since the phones are on silent, that it's not an offense. I wanted to rip the phones out of their hands and make them eat them!

[Taylors]

I personally think Hough needs to calm down. Yeah, cellphones in the concert hall suck, but people are dumb.

[FK]

Coughing is much worse.

Mobile phones stop - eventually. I've been to concerts where people have coughed from first note to last.

If you're not well, stay home. Don't spoil the evening for others ... AND risk spreading whatever you've got.

FK

[Thom]

Hough needs to calm down? – Did you read the post? Look at the pictures? I'm sure he really does dislike cell phones going off (who doesn't?), but the proposal was made with tongue in cheek, it's not some rant.

Incidentally "born again" is a term that crops up in Protestant denominations. Not sure a convert to Catholicism would adopt it necessarily.

[yappy]

Absolutely agree with him! Be that as an artist (who tries to give her best) or an audience member (who paid a lot of money).
One should also differentiate between actual sick-throat coughs and psychological can't-stand-the-silence-between-movements coughs. For the former, hand out cough-sweets, for the latter, fine them too! ;-)

[Ed]

Completely agree. Heavy breathing and so-they-think-subtle frequent throat clearing should be included - had to call a lady next to me out for that during a performance of Covent Garden's last Ariadne.. a little cough every 2 minutes must be worse than one big cough every 20 minutes!

Enough ranting. In Paris they tend to be ok. I find audiences in New York the worst - I went to Anderszewski's Carnegie Hall recital last December - phones went off numerous times, and the (noisy) audience took so long to sit down after the interval, that he just went on stage and started playing with people still shuffling in. I see a recording of this recital has just been released - wonder what the background noise is like...

[El Cajon]

If cell phones disappeared from the face of this planet tomorrow (or better yet, later today), the world would be a much better place. I got so sick of hearing people yak loudly about intimate personal matters that I bought a pair of Bose headphones and voila, life is somewhat better. It's amazing how many folks whip out the little monsters at intermission to chatter. Get a life people!

[Methody Wastrel]

Will he also fine you for taking up two seats on the bus and bringing 13 items into the "12 items or less" line? If we don't start imposing stiff penalties for social annoyances, then the terrorists have won.

[Pippa in a Tree]

Well said Methody-true patriotism is so rare and always inspiring.

But why don't we just ban audiences (or better yet, other people in general) all together? I myself look ever forward to a post-Rapture earth in which humanity's depleted numbers will significantly reduce the chances of having to suffer through the small, thoughtless moments of others.

Until then I continue to content myself with lobbing cough drops/packets of tissues at the coughers/sniffers and pointedly reprimanding the poor cell phone etiquette of the Philistines with which so many of us are apparently surrounded. " I just want to apologize for having to interrupt your conversation with this concert, I hope you aren't too put out. Is there anything else that can be done to ensure you feel this is your own private space?" is a particularly effective sort of comment.

Enough talk. Let us all stop neglecting our duties as well-bred citizens and music lovers and join in the fray!

(or at least obsessively check our own phones to avoid our own scathing responses)

[John]

Since when is it appropriate to refer to a Roman Catholic as "born-again"? Especially a progressive one like Hough! Maybe time for a crash course on comparative religion?