Hay guys! Guess what? Classical music is kewl again. We are like the most relevant people in the whole world!!!11eleven!!111
Well...at least according to the fashionably cooltural élite behind NYC's Milk (ph: mAElk) Studios, who recently had the epiphany to begin a classical music series that, instead of catering to AARP-card holders and poor students, would instead lure models, fashion conspirators, and various actors/cling-ons.
No fair-weather scensters could be reached for comment at this time, still sleeping-off a post-party delirium from moshing and skanking to Vivaldi's Four Seasons (huh k). But sources close to Opera Chic indicate that scensters and their various sycophants are all jumping on the classical music scene bandwagon, because it suddendly got cool or something. "They are desperate to cling to any sort of identity while searching for social acceptance," said our local expert/party-crasher, "I've never heard of such a lame excuse for trying to appear cultured."
You can read about it in this Sunday's NYTimes Style pages.
Launched in February 2007, Milk Studios (Katie Ford, the chief executive of Ford Models is one of the founders) launched "Milk Salon", where four classical musicians have been invited throughout the year to act as moving, emoting background props at their parties. Violinist Janine Jansen just performed ("Summer" from The Four Seasons, that obscure work Milk Studios rescued from obliivion), and past guest pianist Yundi Li rocked the casbah a few months ago (holy $h1t! with an appearance by Terry "Yes, That Is Actually A Tranny" Richardson).
“'Our purpose is to expose these top-class artists to a new group of people who are more downtown — trendsetters, fashion people — in hopes of spreading classical music to a new generation,' said the dapper Mr. Rassi [a partner in Milk Studios], explaining the concept behind this quarterly classical-music recital series, titled Milk Salon."
(That is, if 'classical music' is composed entirely of totally b00tleg versions of Vivaldi and Mozart hits you would find on track listings of "The Best Classical Mix...Ever" or like “The Most Relaxing Classical Album in the World...Ever!”) They may as well just pipe-in Mouret's rondeau from "Symphonies and Fanfares for the King's Supper" and pretend they're on "Masterpiece Theatre".
Rawk on with your bad selves, Milk Salon...RAWK ON!