Two of Opera Chic's favorite readers (la cucciola Donna Anna and il cucciolo fignaz) alerted me (sry :a few days ago: sry) to pure comic gold that has surfaced in the Italian media regarding the Roberto Alagna La Scala Aida walk-off.
Produced from a RAI Radio show called Viva Radio 2 Revolution, there was staged a series of six phony phone-calls [fignaz predicts nine total in this post's comments!!] to a fictitious "Casa Alagna". One of the show's personalities pretends to be our very own Tato, and is presented à la Adam Sandler's "Opera Man" from the 1990s SNL (YouTube link) "Weekend Update", singing his responses to the interviewer in a hilarious, operatic tenor.
One of the half-dozen phone calls has made it to YouTube in the form of audio, and can be found below along with Opera Chic's translation. Thanks again to fignaz and Donna Anna for the scoop!
Fiorello: We are going to call the house of Alagna to see if he is there. (phone ringing in background) I think this is the house...let's see if he's here...[blah blah blah nothing important].
**The first responder is a bit character, and answers [OC isn't familiar with the format of the show] and they're all like, no way! It can't be so! Omg it's you again?! And then the bit character says he was just joking around, and he'll go find Alagna, to which are the replies from Fiorello stuff like, "Thank god, let's get on with it..."
[Update/note: reader fignaz left a comment elucidating the "bit character", and writes, "The stock character at the beginning is supposed to be the switchboard operator at the Quirinale (the residence of Italy's president, for those who don't know). This is Fiorello & Baldini's running joke on the vagaries of the state-run telecommunications system. Since fake phone calls to celebrities (whom Fiorello imitates) are their stock in trade, they often reach the Quirinale."] [thanks, fignaz!]
Roberto Alagna then gets on the line, and sings his opening greeting, which is met with much laughter from Fiorello, who begins the interview:
Fiorello [gathering strength]: I'll try to go ahead, and do this. [To Alagna]: Maestro! Hello/Good Morning. Listen, can you explain to me what happened? [Referring to the December 10, 2006 Aida walk-off.]
Alagna: Those sh*ts!
Fiorello [to the audience]: All in all, it [the interview] began well, eh?...[To Alagna]: Sorry, but do you always talk like this?!
Alagna: No, only in public.
Fiorello: There we are. Instead, [how do you do it] in private, then?
Alagna: In mezzo soprano.
Fiorello: I get it. Listen, when you go to the super-market, how do you speak?!
Fiorello: Okay, I get it. But can you give us an example, please?
Alagna then pretends he's at the deli counter in the super-market, and sings instructions for the deli guy to give him "un etto di prosciutto", and goes on to sing instructions, like, "I recommend you to slice it thinly, under the fat, and close to the bone. Y'ah ha ha ha ha!"
Fiorello: Let's see. Why did you leave last night? [speaking again of the La Scala Aida December 10th walk-out].
Alagna (acting all torn-up): The loggioni guys whistled at me. I sang the aria, but it wasn't my fault! h0 h0 h0 h0 h0!
Fiorello: Okay, listen, but you went [off the stage], and were substituted by a man, but he was in jeans.
Alagna: NO NO NO!
Fiorello: Okay! What, you don't know who it was?
Alagna: The substitute wasn't my replacement!
Fiorello: Who was it then?
Alagna: He was one of those guys who sells bonbonniere [candy] and coca cola. Y0 h0 h0 h0 h0.
Alagna: But I don't care. I'm going to San Remo. We'll be the three tenors. The three of us.
Fiorello: Sorry, the three of you? Who are the other two [tenors], then?
Alagna: "Zeroassoluto" [a really crappy Italian pop band]. We'll sing something like this, here's a piece of it:
Then Alagna starts singing a lame proverb, "Il buongiorno si vede dal mattino." ["You see the good day in the morning"].
I HAD TO POST IT
I JUST HAD TO
i dont know about you guys but i am lollerskating over here.
(fignaz [again] with teh supar sexay superfluous nfo, posts a rapidshare link...to grab six of the nine Alagna spoofs.)