Tonner Doll Company and the New York City Ballet have launched "The New York City Ballet Collection", which introduces a line of ballerina dolls that have been created with an automatic inferiority complex, as they feature:
“a smaller bustline than traditional Tyler-style 16" fashion dolls. Please note that not all Tyler-style 16-inch outfits will fit the Ballet-style doll at the bustline.”
OMGWTF?!! Even better, the Tonner Doll Company proclaims, "This bustline is also used in the Geisha dolls and Cinderella's Wicked Stepsister, Euphemia." Okay Tonner, so let me get this straight: You're trying to tell me something, aren't you? You're trying to say that the smaller bustlines are pandemic among ballerinas, Asian prostitutes, and abusive stepsisters?!
The new line features flat-chested characters taken from George Balanchine's, "The Nutcracker", and outfits derived from the Karinska costumes. From November 2006, "The New York City Ballet Collection" can be found at toy stores nationwide, as well as the NYCB gift shops. They are priced from $109.99 - $149.99 (plus additional, unspecified costs for miniature push-up wonderbras, cognitive behavioral therapist fees, Zoloft, and self-help books).
But we all know the truth: behind that cool, aloof, haughty pose of NYCB Rehearsal Emilie is a mind racing with insecurity, anxiety, and fear that her man will dump her for buxom and bubbly Peppermint Candy Cane Barbie.
Rehearsal Emilie, ur beatuiful teh eway GOD made u ;__;